Della

Challenges

What am I to you
A challenge?
Someone to conquer
to control
See me for the woman I am
Strong independent and true
I will not be told
That I can't be me
I refuse to conform to your rules
To my heart I must be true
To love myself
I can only be
The person that I am
You cannot accept the good
The bad
Then you acceptance of me is conditional
You give me rules
I turn my back
I cannot change
Not even for your love
As daylight ends
I can only be me
No facade no pretense
I stand the woman that I am
Accept me or let me free.

For The Love Of Children

Where once was love
A bitter battle rages
The was love hope and dreams
Ones we can no longer fulfill
Too much hurting
Too much pain
Dreams lost along the way
Cruel words, Angry voices
Ring across the battlefield
We can't see a truce to this
Our hopes no longer shared
Yet, there are three soldiers
Innocent in this war
Mere children, they are suffering
Their loyalties torn and raw
Do they deserve to see the pain
Caused by you and I?
Do they deserve to pay the price
     for love gone wrong?
This war is not theirs to fight
A side they should not choose
Allow them their innocence
Let them have their child like dreams
Show them that you love them
Regardless of how you feel
Let them love grow and mature
Don't make them see the pain
Bite the words back if you can
Say nothing till they sleep
While they dream of kings and maidens fair
Then let us say our share
For the love of the children
Let them dream a peaceful dream.

Strength

A numbness courses through me
No thoughts no anger no pain
Allowing memories to rest
Even though for a little while
No more fears haunting dreams
Nothing matters for the moment
Do I care what you think?
Do I wonder why you are here?
No, those thoughts are far behind
I look now to a future bright
Of hopes of dreams of goals to meet
My determination to succeed
Surpasses thoughts of life
As one door closes another opens
I see my heart's desires
No longer wanting approval
No longer needing support
For once again I am strong
I can lean on me
I will succeed, I will survive
No longer can you blind me
Or feed my insecurities
Once again I am back
I am the only strength I need.

The Fight

The fight is hard
The struggle long
Determination to succeed
Tears of frustration fall
Angry words, lashing out
Will there be anything left?
Will success leave me alone?
A Lonely broken woman
no love, no life, no hope
Isn't that worse than what is now
Is happiness my key?
To live a life
To hope for a future
How selfish can that be?

Unwanted

Your kisses repulse me
From your touch I recoil
Can you not see me
I don't' want you
Stop trying to fix
what's beyond repair
You had your chance
A hundred thrown away
You chose your destiny
I must choose mine
I want the carefree happy smile
The ones my friends knew well
I want my heart happy
My soul to soar the skies
Your no longer my destiny
no longer my hearts desire
Your persistence annoys me
Your determination I will stay
The only way you will succeed
Is to drive a knife into my heart
Even then you will not keep me
So let me go set me free
For I am yours no more

Untitled III

Anger overriding love
Frustration seemingly important
Is the love forgotten
Or buried far below
Neither giving an inch
None leaving his side
The lines between thickens
The division greater
One stuck in his world
The other stuck with hers
Is there hope
Is there some resolution
Can love beat off the odds
The answers elude me
Like the butterfly and the net
If I could see tomorrow
My answers would guide today
The decisions I make
The soreness of heart
One way or the other
Does anger rule the day?

Soulmates

Bursting with color
Majestic clouds float above
Different shades they turn Acting as a prism to the light
The shades blend and disappear
Before our eyes
As day fades to night
A mere hue remains
The sun sets, the moon rises
Twilight at its finest
Nature reflecting our emotions
Conflicting, stuggling to arise
Although this scene surrounds
It is only you I see
I hear your breath, shallow and calming
I turn to see your eyes
So clear, so compassionate
Your hand so warm in mine
As we sit your body at my side
No words exchanged, none needed
The love between us sparks
Intimate as lovers
Yet, no touch is shared
Our love surpasses the physical this night
Our love, like your arms, hold us as one

Friends

Many guidelines rule a friendship
Tis the way it should be
Coffee in the morning
Dinner once a week
There's a second face to friendship
Acceptance, love, and dreams
Spun like a spider web
If flutters in the breeze
We found this friendship
You and I
One forged through hurt and pain
You are you, I am me
No conditions, expectation free
When once was sad
We now can laugh
And say it does not matter
Whispered words, silent sneers
Flow gently off our backs
For I have you and you have me
What more can friendship be?

Land of Mine

Through mountian springs
and rivers green
My memories standing clear
Full of legend, myth, and myr
A land stood proud and free
The ocean pounds majestic shores
Invaders from afar
Plundered, murdered, raped the land
We stood our ground
Faught until we fell
The pride these peope held in hand
Passed through the years to me
Happy memories as a child
A woman so very sad
A country not of orgin
A land so cold, so hard
Yet, through it all, a flame does burn
A flame so strong and true
I hear the call, I hear them say
Arise and stand up little one
Never show your pain
Through the years they call to me
Remember you are free

Untitled

When will you see
That I am me
A woman, not a child
I have seen, I have done
I earned the pride in me
I knew love, I know pain
Yet, still I am me
Independant, strong, and true
I do not see just black and blue
I see the greys between
I've been hungry, I've been sad
Still waiting to be loved
Always wanting me to change
Modeled in your image
Perfect mother, perfect wife
Sorry, I cannot be
I will not change who I am
Conforming to your rules
Your conditions truly stiffle me
Can you not accept all
For this my love, is me

Untitled

A sadness spreads throughout my soul
My anger a firey ember
They doused my flame
It burns so low
Barely a flicker can be seen
Open your eyes you foolish men
I will not be beat
What once was there never left
My spirit you can't defeat
Slowly, so slowly, the flame ignites
My hopes, my dreams return
I will not cower
Or be afraid
To your anger I turn and face
I have a will as strong as yours
A courage you can't put down
As I face you I face the world
Proud and standing free
Face my anger cowardly men
And see that I am me
Do not run, do not hide
Or throw your vicious words
I am but a woman
Turn and see the pride in me

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Poems Copyright © 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999    by Della