6/7/97 I want to burn down your defenses. What I mean is-- I love you. But you've shut me out, baby. You keep running Like You can't or won't accept The only thing I have to offer. I want to say "goodbye" What I mean is-- I love you. But I can't do either, baby. You keep running Like You don't want me at all. But I know you do. The Future All our futures Are built on lies of the past. History is changed to suit our needs. I know you love me I know there's nothing else For you But me. We have only survived So far Because there's nothing else To do with our time. Most merely exist But love, We've lived a thousand lifetimes. We've taken more than our share. All my energy is spent. I've given more than I could. So now we're strangers-- Sucking the marrow out of tomorrow To sustain our fantasy of today. We may never make it, But aren't all our dreams Better than reality, anyway? The future waits. Geometry Why we run is not as important as the fact of running. We're all moving Closer together Or further apart But we still meet At a single point. The earth is a sphere And even separated by ten thousand miles, We are connected by a single line. Love Lines Composed Upon an Acid Trip, for Aaron wild blue mountain sea baby come to me love me like a cactus suckin juices from the deepest dry dirt in the dark the desert is cold cold for me and for you the same oh god bless wild green crazy sea baby baby come to me love me like a tree spring up and grow strong on the loveliest moist ground home to the beetle or the bird in the dark the forest burns hot for me and for you the same oh god bless wild purple heaven sea baby baby drown for me love me like the fiercest shark attack and bleed and suck the saline through your gills in the dark the sea pulsates thriving for me and for you the same oh god, oh my god bless you Fear Whenever I watch you step on a plane I fear you'll never return. I know-- All the tickets in this world Are really round-trip (Although they say ONE WAY). I'm scared because I know Everyone comes home a little changed. But I can't stop the fact That you are constantly flying-- Towards me or away-- It doesn't matter. 6/26/97 I wonder if I ever noticed A sunrise or sunset While you were here. I wonder if there was a sky That matched the blue of your eye. I wonder if there were ever birds Whose voices rang as sweetly as yours. The hour of wonder is at hand. Where are you now, And where have you been tonight? Whose hand are you holding now? And are her eyes emeralds, like mine, Or just glass? What do you do with all The extra sunsets we're faced with? All the sunsets I find now, I watch alone. Count On It, for Merrit Malloy There's some things you can count on I will lie to you I will cheat & I will break your heart I will come back to love you again. But as you lie here, you can know for sure that I will be gentle. I will give 105 percent of myself. And later, when people no longer connect our names, I will be thinking of you. 7/12/97 Tell me your name. I am lying in this bed 5 million miles from your beating heart & ten inches from this one. Your cum Sits in my fire-breathing belly & I can't say it's name. There is a force. You're a superhuman superhero: "Trust in that force When I say Love is my name. Baby, I'm not going anywhere." I know you lied When you said "My name is Greg & I grew up an aetheist Baptist" Ugly is your name & the absense of your God is God enough for you. I'm sure I grew up Aetheist as you. Sometimes, I believe in You, though. Sometimes, I believe in you. Happy Birthday peel me out yes peel it off boys are touching me boys are touching yes they're touching me leave it off peel it off boys are stabbing me I'm all naked knives of lust yes they're touching it's just me here take this key lock me up lock me away the groping hands the knives of dreams protect me "maybe I'm a mermaid" ** & maybe I'm a wild flower & maybe you've stripped me I'm all naked in the wind they're peeling off the petals yes they're peeling me yes they're touching me yes they're raping me ** taken from "Silent All These Years" by Tori Amos Mermaid Dreams there is more than this there is more than this there is more than this there is a part integral it is missing missing the mark I shoot Cupid’s arrows and miss it again look down on this little rock down from Heaven up in your Utopia laugh at me and my clumsy arrows they’re meant for you and the Sky is falling again I’ll catch the moonbeams make them a garland for your curly blonde hair catching the starlight catching our fleeting rainbows make it a sign to wear always around your neck baby there is more than this there is more in the summer air there is more in your voice there is more in your blue eyes than this purity comes and washes over me like your tiny caresses a purple haze and the sunset and the waves and the mermaids tickling my ankles I wish for green garlands again and Cupid’s arrows and I’ll always miss the mark there is more to this I’ll always miss that mark I’ll always miss your cool touch I’ll always miss the mermaids
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